THIS IS CRAP!

I BADLY NEED PROZAC

I looked at the steel-gray sky as I stood outside the stone terrace of our house, and I thought to myself, "What the hell have I been doing with my life?"

what the hell indeed?

Not for the first time I've felt seriously depressed like this. Depressed enough to damn everything to hell and flee away from all this world's lies and injustices. I'm sick of of everything. Sick of my life. And I don't even know why.

Heh, I've just lived about 1/4 of my life, and yet, here I am ranting on how I have had enough of it.

Sounds too melodramatic for my taste. What a bimbo thing to say, really.

I remember back when I was still 15, that was 5 years ago. It was during that age that I seriously thought of killing myself. I've tried various ways of how to do it, but I guess in the end, I still have this part of me that seriously wanted to live and cling to life itself. You could say I'm a coward. I'm just pretty afraid, I guess.

And I contemplated, what if I had pursued my plan back then? Would it make any difference? After all, I'm just a normal kid. The world would not stop revolving even if I die, right? It's just another face with a name. Maybe a small fraction of the world's population would grieve, 15 or more people at least. The big neon headline would read: "ANOTHER TEENAGER LOST ITS CAUSE", then on to other news. Another member of the human race just left this world for good. No big deal. Things like this are just as common as breathing. After a few days of intrigues and gossips, everything would start being normal again. And the world will resume its usual pace, its usual speed.

I guess I just can't go along with the flow.

That's just how things are.

And that's what makes me sick.

Everyone is just too pre-occupied with themselves. I guess humans are made that way. They live and live, and eventually cease to exist. Then another generation would replace them. It's a never-ending cycle. Everyone's entangled on the same spinning web of surviving.

Fuck that. I want to bring an end to that cycle.

Because I'm tired of it.

Waking up in the morning, brushing your teeth, taking a bath, going to school, chatting with friends, and going back home. The programmed activities that we do everyday. We know it's just going to be another day, same as yesterday. Yet we wake up every morning, working off our butts to survive in this world. After stashing some money on the side, and getting everything we want, what's next? Humans will never get satisfied. We never stop to reach and be on the top of everything. I guess that's because humans are lonely species. We busy ourselves with temporary happiness, like games, parties, gadgets, but at the end of the day, do we really feel happy?

Do you feel happiness knowing that you have an IPOD? A top-of-the-line mobile phone? A crazy awesome car? Look deep inside you. Why do you feel happy possessing all of these things? Is it because you have it and other people don't? Is it because you will feel important because other people will pay attention to you? It's just that, isn't it? What else is the reason?

But if you look at it altogether, the reason for all these is that we just wanted affection. We just want somebody to find us, and long for us, accept us. Pretty simple. That's why everything around us revolves around human emotions.

So how come I'm pretty depressed about my life? I have everything I need. I have family, I have friends. I guess I just wanted to leave a mark in this world. To prove that I've lived, and made a difference; not just another human who existed and left this world. I already accomplished some feat using my talent, some of these are unique even to people at my age. I can say that no one can do them except me and me alone. But I am a human. So I will not be satisfied with just that.

How will it sound if I turn my attention to WORLD DOMINATION eh?

Welcome to my mind.

P.S. No, I'm not suffering Major Depressive Disorder, nor have Manic-Depressive. What are you getting at? You're an idiot for thinking that.

~~How come I finished this article in just an hour? Contrary to my months of writing just a chapter of my story. T_T But I guess I'm pretty happy that my story reached 27,000+ words. :3

Death Note (Anime Review)

Death Note (Anime) Review: Plot Summary: Light Yagami (Or Raito) is an ace student with great aspects who's bored out of his mind. One day he finds the Death Note a notebook held by a shinigami (Death God). with the Death Note in hand, Light decides to create a perfect world. A world without crime or criminals. However when criminals start dropping dead one by one, the authorites send the legendary detective L to track down the killer. ----------- Review: Spare me a moment to do this: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!~ Eherm… all I can say is that this series kicks some serious ass. All hail to the author of this series. I worship you on bended knees. ;’-) It’s no overstatement to say that Death Note is one of the most remarkable animations, if not the best, made in 2006 (or was it 2005?). No wonder it topped the list of the most popular animes nowadays, even outrunning the likes of Full Metal Alchemist, Naruto and Bleach. Death Note having superb animation quality, coupled with a nerve-racking plot with a spice of evilness on the side, is really an anime that fans should look out for. And this time, it’s not my MOE talking. Teh ^^~. I guess anime fans have been drawn to Death Note because of its unique plot and story. It is not your typical detective classic style of investigating. This one is more direct to the point, with a rule of an eye for an eye. And it is really amazing when you watch the mysteries unravel one after another, all planned out by the 18-year-old, always-in-the-top-of-the-class, popular-pretty-boy-next-door Light Yagami. But Light Yagami isn’t your typical teenage boy who flirts around girls or hangs out with friends in a usual basis. No, he is a wicked guy who has this strong sense of justice and determination that is really quite scary and over-the-top, and by no means will he strive to achieve his objectives even if it means sacrificing the lives of the people around him. Well, you can say he is damn evil. And the kick ass thing is, mga kapatid kong magsasaka, he found himself a worthy adversary in the character of L (who, so you know, is also a college student, more likely the same age as Light, and is also my favorite character in the series). It’s incredible when you see how these two guys outwit each other, without actually revealing their true selves. It’s fun to see how they use their reasoning and deduction to get out of tight situations. I oh-so adore the character L. He’s sooooooooooooooooooooooo subarashi and at that young age, he has already been hailed as the world’s greatest detective, solving difficult crimes one after another. To put it simpler, he’s your resident badass and he will not give a rat’s ass on about anything unless it concerns him or his case. So *clap*clap* and two-thumbs up. Oh yeah, did I mention that it has great songs too? Especially the 2nd opening and 2nd ending songs. It really fits the theme of the anime and both songs are damn great. Over all, I officially label Death Note as one of my favorite animes, and that’s saying something, since I’m too critical of things I watch and read. And I’ve never seen an anime that excited me like this, and never seen a serious anime with shrewd sense of humor that can make you laugh for minutes, not since I finished watching Ouran High School Host club. So if you haven’t watched the series yet, please do so before your mortal body dies. I assure you it would be great, ne? ^^~ P.S. Light Yagami’s character was dubbed by the same person who dubbed Tamaki Suoh of the series Ouran High School Host club. So it’s triple plus. Tehee. XD P.P.S. I wish that one of the darn stations here in the Philippines would air it. Demet. That would kick ass. P.P.P.S. How many times exactly did I say the word “ass”?

Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal (Anime Review)

Rurouni Kenshin: Trust and Betrayal (Director’s Cut)

Plot Summary:

Taken by slavers when he was a child, Himura Kenshin is rescued only when an encounter with bandits kills off everyone but him. He is found by a master of the Divine Justice School of Swordmanship, a school so deadly that to train in it, means death for either the master or student, there can only be one master. Taken by the master, Kenshin is trained in this school, only to leave before finishing so that he may join the Meiji restoration and help prevent further tragedies like his own. Thus is born the Battousai, the greatest strength of the Ishin Patriots, a boy of 15 who kills for the sake of building a new, better world. One night, he comes across a mysterious woman, Tomoe. He must hide with her when the revolution stumbles. They marry for appearances, but soon fall in love. Tomoe has another reason to be with Kenshin, one she regrets but cannot stop. Revenge must be satisfied, and only blood can do that.

-----------------------

Review:

            Haha… damn. It’s been like 4 years since I last watched this OVA. I mostly forgot the details of this movie, as well as the flow of the story, though I still have vague memories of the scenes playing at the back of my mind. When I first watched this OVA, I didn’t enjoy it that much. Blame it to the quality of the CD I bought from a measly shop with stingy money whores selling their stuffs like gold like the folks in Comic Alley. But dang, when I watched it yesterday, all hell broke loose. No wonder this RK OVA has been hailed to be one of the most popular and most notable animations ever made. Kenshin Himura must be about 15-17 years old, a hired assassin of the Choshu clan. It is a crime against humanity that he landed in the hands of Tomoe. I mean, damn, Tomoe is way too old for Kenshin. It’s like cradle snatching for heaven’s sake. Can you somehow understand the pain my sacred MOE is going through? *nod*nod*

            Well anyway, the animation of this movie is indeed superb. The fight scenes, as well as the bone-crunching, flesh-cutting, skull-cracking, torso-slashing (tee-hee! XD) scenes are over the top. The visual graphics were crisp and nicely done. Animation gives a sense of fluidity on their movement highlighting the striking sword-slashing scenes. It is indeed great over-all and gives you this feeling of contentment, the similar feeling you might feel upon seeing you eldest son graduate from school, the XD. Add the fact that Kenshin is uber hot. Just watch the darn movie already.

Cogito Ergo Sum (and all that shit..)

ERGO PROXY PLOT SUMMARY:

In a future where the world has been ravaged by a nuclear apocalyse, there exists salvation in a domed city named "Romdeau", where humans and their android servants, the autoreivs, live in. Under the implementation of complete management control, it is a paradise where feelings are literally discarded, and the governing council dictates the way of life the citizens should live. But this utopian landscape is soon broken by a series of mystifying murders. Real Mayar, a female inspector from the Citizen Information Bureau, along with her autoreiv partner Iggy, are tasked to solve the murder cases. She is soon attacked by a creature drawn to her which is neither human nor android, and learns about the mysterious phenomena called "Awakening", an event which draws her further into the case...and to the world beyond the limits of Romdeau.

ERGO PROXY REVIEW:

Yes, I'm a sucker for new things. There is nothing new that I would not know about, especially in the fields of animation, website, designs and all the crap in between. So when I heard about this new anime, I had the sudden attack of my usual sickness: I just have to have a copy of this series. And so then, first episode immediately gave the aura of mystery to its viewers. More of like you were suddenly plunged to a different world, with everything around you looking suddenly strange and new. But I had to admit, it took me around months to urge my lazy butt to watch the 2nd episode because the 1st episode of this series did not interest me that much. But after I watched the latter episodes, I just can't get enough of it. It was during my finals week that I decided to watch it since reviewing too much is bull, and my brain felt like heavy lead so I though I needed a break. Well, anyway, it has a very nice story and gripping scenes that will leave you wanting more. It's just that it will leave you with this feeling that you want to immediately unravel  the mysteries behind mysteries. And yes, you heard that right, it is full of damn mysteries. Philosophies, possibilities of human mind, extremes, and similar shits. So if you're into those kind of themes, I will suggest this series. It's similar to Ghost in the Shell and has a cyber-punk theme. No more no less. And the characters were drawn very good too.

PHILIPPINE ALL-STARS-CHAMPION SA 2006 WORLD HIPHOP COMPETITION

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRP1H5_k39Y

I wonder why...

...some dipshits still breathe while people who don't deserve it suffer?

...the word 'fashionista' exists? What kind of dumb crackpot fool would invent such word?

...the Philippines is still in the seventh level of hell?

...Americans are such arrogant fuckfaces? (On the 2nd thought, I could give them a run for their money)

...stupid shitty bitches still can't understand the word "no one cares" and "eat shit and die"? No one can stand you, DO YOU KNOW THAT?

...some i-want-to-be-like-other-people-from-other-nation-losers exist? Whether you're a wannabe-British or a wannabe-Japanese asshole or just a plain well-wisher, go commit suicide. It would do the world good.

...you're still reading this?

Kiss my foot.

May Piso Ka?

It was December 28, 2006. I left the house at around 9am, and traveled all the way to Paco, Manila to meet with my friends kasi pupunta kaming 'MWUAAH' (that's MOA, you jerk ;-p)

The interesting thing is, while I was riding the jeepney going to Taft, may sumakay na isang 'kakaibang' babae. I guess she's 40 something. At first glance, sabi ko sa sarili ko, either baliw 'to or pulubi. She's wearing this polka-dotted pink dress, and she is clinging to 2 bulging plastic bags containing stuffs only god knows what they are. After a few minutes, she asked me, "May Piso Ka?". Of course, I was a bit shocked. I opened my bag automatically before I can stop myself. After that, I distinctly remembered saying "Ayowalpeh." Then I closed my bag and wasted the next 15 minutes wondering what the hell did I just say. She didn't ask me again, maybe because she didnt understand the word I just uttered. Then the journey continued with the woman occasionally asking the other passengers for a peso. (As you may know, she is quite getting a lot from the other passengers)

Then suddenly, a kid mounted the vehicle I was in, then polished all the passengers' shoes. He was asking for alms, of course. This time, with me on my right mind, gave the poor kid a few pesos. (And I remembered that it was only days after Christmas). The woman saw me giving the kid some coins, asked me once again for a peso. "Ineng, penge namang piso." So yours truly gave her a whopping 3 pesos. Not bad, eh?

(I'll just finish this off, shall I?)

Then, after a few more minutes of silence, the woman shouted, "PARA!" then went to the front of the jeep and gave the driver 25 cents (I think). I think the driver took it seriously for a joke and threw the coin at the of the lady as she descends the vehicle.

Well, what the hell?

And to think it's only been three days since Christmas.

I don't think it's entirely the driver's fault because he's only trying to work, but at least try not to throw things at people. It's shitty.

And the woman, hindi sya nagbayad. And I gave her 3 pesos. What's the use of giving them to her then?

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FOLKS.

Crap school's gonna start soon. Give me a break.

TOTOO BA TO? (naruto spoiler)

http://yondaime.ytmnd.com/

Indifferent?

why do people always give a shit about trivial matters? who gives a shit about what you ate this morning? who gives a shit about your ingrown? who gives about your *gasp* discharge? who giivveeesss a shit. i don't.

you can check me out, but you can never intimidate me.

don't like it? cry me a river.

it's just... i don't really get it. i live for myself, then why the hell do i need to impress other people? it's my life, it's my money. they don't live for me. if you don't like me, then mas lalong ayoko sayo noh? ano ka, timang? ulol. di ako magpapaka-martir sa isang taong ayaw ako noh.

very secure ako with myself. i don't need anything to prove that. ayoko lang mabuhay na nag-aalala lagi sa iniisip ng tao. isipin na nila guso nilang isipin. tutal, isip naman nila yan. depende na lang yan sa tao kung papaapekto ka. diba? give me five, man.

SEMBREAK NA!

AMPOTAH. DI NYO NA KO MAKIKITA!!!!